I mean, seriously. What other reason could they possibly have for this sudden trend in dropping their own customers? It’s an especially dumb move in a time where I see sales people from those little mall kiosks with their big sad puppy dog eyes begging anyone who passes to sign up.

Obviously this is a dumb move even when they might hold all the cards. But now.. with lots of people wanting to get an iPhone but being locked into contracts.. it’s just insane. (Note: I read somewhere that 30% of the people buying iPhones that first week were taking the almost $200 hit to cancel their current service.)

Here are my conspiracy theories:

Either Sprint’s parent company (do they have one?) is setting Sprint up to be wiped out. Maybe a burning the house down for the insurance sort of move. Who the hell knows.

Or… perhaps they’re trying to set themselves up as an elitist company. Appealing to share holders and board members with their “Our shit is so hot we don’t need any customers not worth our time bringing us down.” attitude.

A favorite of mine… Steve Jobs has been testing out the newest innovation in Apple interfaces… mind control. Controlling your MacBook with your mind has been in the works for a long while (I’m sure). Starting as a project to address the complaints about the accessibility of the iPhone that they’d predicted long before shipping. This technology is rumored to actually harnesses the power of Jobs’ own reality distortion field (RDF). In testing Steve found that he can control much more than iTunes and is systematically causing each competing carrier to crush ITSELF. (Rumor: This mind control system might already be a hidden feature in the iPhone but is not currently bi-directional. As evidenced by the fact that YOU WANT AN IPHONE!)

Or… using Occam’s Razor… Those in power at Sprint have just simply gone loon-bats.

No matter what the reasoning… if you’ve got a Sprint account it’s time to start making constant calls to Sprint support from the remote wilderness of Alaska so you can truck on down the Apple store unbound from that annoying contract.

I’ll be interesting to see what comes of this unfathomable power play of Sprint’s.